I love how these new buttons allow me to categorize the crazy as it’s happening. “Random Rants.” It’s like open season on everything! Genius! Since I’m launching the website today, let’s talk rings. No, not the kind you wear on your fingers. The kind you step into. The kind you create in order to keep some level of sanity. Those kind of rings. Perhaps you’ve never heard of them. Allow me to introduce you….
Remember those friendship rings from back in the 80’s? Yes, I know about the bracelets. I’m talking rings. Stay with me here. Lord and the actual baby Jesus! I love everything 80’s! Well maybe not the Dorothy Hamill cut I was coerced into…I digress. Friendship Rings. They were “the” status symbol of the time. YOU had a BFF and everyone knew it. They came and went and so did many friendships along the way. But did they have to? I don’t know. I was talking with a friend the other day about this very thing. She just wasn’t “feeling” this person anymore and didn’t know what to do. Why anyone comes to me for advice is beyond me. I tend to talk like I think. If you wonder what that sounds like, jump back over to Sisters in Fat for a spell. Right. So I gave her one of my cryptic theories on friendship that I’m sure I stole from someone much smarter than me. If that was you….thank you. I wish I could remember who you are but my memory isn’t what it used to be (reference Sisters in Sobriety- I blame the Rose’). In order to keep some level of sanity in my life, I developed rings of friendship. This ensures a place for everyone. Unless you steal my food or my husband. Then you are dead to me and the only ring you’ll have will be around your neck. How has this gone violent? I can’t be sure. Back to the matter at hand…friendship rings. Think about it like the exposed rings of a tree. Depending on the age of the tree, there can be several rings. The older you are the more friendships you have. So we use the ring analogy to categorize these friendships and maintain our sanity. Some of your peeps deserve to be in the ring closest to your roots. They can be trusted with anything. Your go to’s. They have earned their ring over time. As we move further out we find people we know but maybe don’t see that often. Or maybe someone we were once very close to but time or circumstances have moved them further away. I’m here to tell you that’s ok! Not everyone can be all up in your roots sisters! Aint enough room. You’ll go cray trying to keep everyone in the mix. If we adhere to the “You are the 5 people you hang out with” some of y’all will start addin rings like it’s your job ooookkkay! This is all “in your head” shit. You don’t walk up to said friend and say “Hey, sorry Jane Doe I had to move you back a ring due to your bitchy nature and clinginess.” You just let that bitch slide on back and get comfy in her new home. Simple. She don’t even know she’s moved! There’s no eviction notice. She’s still your friend. She’s just further away. You can only control you, how you react and the things you do to make your life better. So grab some rings and get to work!
While we are busy revolutionizing your life….let’s talk success. “That” ring. I once heard someone say in order to succeed you have to step into the ring. Again, no idea who it was for all the obvious reasons. But he/she was so right. It takes a lot of…everything… to put yourself out there. Especially these days with social media giving everyone a platform to judge. This ring looks less like a tree and more like a boxing ring. You are going to get beat up. The key is…you aint gotta show up to the fight. You are in the ring because you deserve to be there. Read that again. You deserve to be there. You put in the work. You were vulnerable. You took the risk. You worked hard. You did what everyone else couldn’t or was afraid to do. Yeah you! So why are you the punching bag? That’s just how it works. Success isn’t easy and it aint always kind. Everyone outside the ring want’s to be in there with you. But they don’t want to do the work. It’s easy to be a critic from where they sit . They can/will tell you everything you are doing wrong and what you should be doing different. It’s damn depressing aint it? Not always. The people in your “corner” are cheering for you. Elevate their voices and drown out the others. As I launch my new website, I have a healthy fear of failure and ring rats. Honestly that’s why it’s taken me so long to fly my crazy flag. I don’t know what success looks like for me. Today it looks like this…the launch of www.kellerb.com. Enjoy!