I’m not talking wash cycles here sisters. I’m talking routine. We all have one. In general, we run through our life using the same outline day after day. From what we eat, to household chores right down to how we wash that ass. Not you? God bless you. The rest of us are on auto-pilot with an occasional blip of color here and there. Why? I can’t be sure. I started thinking about this very thing just the other day whilst I was doing my “Sunday Chores.” What do “Sunday Chores” look like for a 50 something with no kids? Nothing like you are thinking. I’m not taking endless empty bottles of Chardonnay to the recycle bin (well maybe I am…bad example), prepping healthy food for the week and laying out my clothes for work on Monday. That’s way to normal for even me. I refill the coffee bin which is already busting at the seams, add dog food to the already overflowing container, refill toilet paper when there’s less than 10 rolls per bathroom (bcs there’s 2 of us) and do laundry for the 100th time in a week. Why? Because it’s Sunday and that means “Sunday Chores.” Or does it….
So yeh this has been gnawing at me. Why we do the things we do when we do them. Would I die if the Sunday madness happened on Wednesday? Probably not. Do I need to fill things that are already full? No… but I do. Hell I even shower the same way every day. Wet hair, shampoo, wash face, 2 passes on the body parts, rinse hair, condition, shave legs (yes every day…I am a freak…but not a hairy one) and rinse again. Exit shower and begin grooming ritual. It’s maddening! What if I shaved my legs first, washed my body and then my hair. The world would end that’s what. There’s some sort of random rules of order for all that is me and they must be followed in order to maintain my sanity. Yet I feel like I’m going crazy. My therapist (yes I have one and you should to) encouraged me to change things up and see how it feels. I’ll tell you how it feels….F’n maddening! Let’s add in some OCD shall we? Ask me how many times a day I sweep the floor? Clean the counter? Wipe down the fridge handles? No. Please don’t. So why do I do it? That was me asking YOU BTW.
Let’s take things a step further…bcs that’s what I do. “Rinse and Repeat” seems to be a structural problem for me as well. Humor me:
January: Watch the ball drop, drink too much, make dumb resolutions, go on a diet, stop drinking, detox and go on vacation (queue the drinking again).
February: Still trying to lose weight, go out for Valentines Dinner and move drinking to weekends only (in theory).
March: Still trying to lose weight, buy dumb St. Patrick’s Day shirt, bike to the parade, drink too much green beer and move drinking back to the weekend.
April: Still trying to lose weight, endless conversations about pollen/spring, Hubby’s birthday, Easter Dinner sans church and move drinking to the weekend.
May: Wondering how I can lose 30 pounds in 30 days, fishing starts again, Memorial day beach party and day drinking season officially starts.
June: Telling myself summer is 3 months long & I can still lose weight, camping in WVA, grilling, mowing and move drinking to porch.
July: Maybe I’ll try Atkins, 4th of July fireworks (which I hate), it’s hot, too many tourists, grilling, Boating, mowing and drinking on the porch.
August: Still time to get in my fall jeans, random concerts, lots of boating, super hot, too many tourists, mowing and drinking too much.
September: Not gonna look like this next year, girls fishing tournament (my fav), my birthday, Mother comes to visit…double down on drinking.
October: I’ll start fresh in January, more fishing tournaments, random Halloween celebration, getting colder and switch to red wine.
November: Try & shed a few before Thanksgiving, random bank holidays, start Christmas shopping and go back to white wine (goes with turkey).
December: Fat, holiday party after holiday party, traveling here/there/everywhere, cold, spending too much money and planning “New Me” for next year.
Fuck! I’m exhausted just reading it! Year after year the same things over and over. Tell me I’m not alone? We all have some version of the madness. How does this happen and what can we do to get the spontaneity back in our lives?! Hold please…
When in doubt…blame Mother! It’s the greatest thing ever! Especially when you don’t have kids that can’t come back to bite you in the form of payback torture. I am here to tell you my Mother does the same thing the same way EVERY day and always has to the best of my knowledge. She created “Rinse & Repeat!” When they say “Creature of Habit”- she is THAT creature! Mother wakes up, “puts her face on,” does her stretches, eats her breakfast, drinks her tea, says her prayers…hell I don’t even know the order but I promise you she does! And she doesn’t miss a beat. Day in and day out. Any tiny shift and the world comes off it’s axis. I’ve been trying for years to break that woman! Yet, here I am flying my creature of habit flag for all to see. In my defense, I can pivot when needed. Move my Cheese when things get stale. It’s the framework that’s troubling me. I want to eat steak for Thanksgiving and go to the Caribbean for Christmas! Jesus take the wheel! Why must I be stuck in cookie cutter hell? Oh yeh…it’s Mother’s fault. Calling her now….